This year I had every intention to vote by mail due to the pandemic. After a recent move and D.M.V. stations being closed to walk in business that intention went out the window. After getting my license updated I hoped it would still be early enough to request that mail-in ballot, I was wrong. With everything being a slower process my voter registration was finally updated yesterday, a week late for absentee cutoffs in South Dakota. So, today I went for early voting to avoid the lines on election day.
Everything I do gets over planned in my mind. Voting today would be no different. I thought all day long about past elections. Where I voted, who I voted for, who I voted with, and why I voted the way I did. I could picture voting in 2008 in Holmen, Wisconsin, newly married, cuddling in the cold with my bride. Casting that vote for Barack Obama and awaiting results later that night. I thought about a snowstorm in Auburndale, WI in 2012 and being called back to work to cover for another driver. I thought about 2016 and how some friends and I had joked that morning how we couldn’t wait to cheer a predicted win that night. Then I began to think about today and how I wanted it to go. I thought about where I was going to vote in Sioux Falls. I pre-planned my outfit. I thought about what I would listen to to get into a clear frame of mind.
Knowing the location in Sioux Falls was across from Van Eps Park, I thought maybe I’d go to visit the MLK Jr. statue. I contemplated whether I should take a picture of some Joe Biden aviator sunglasses and Kamala Harris Chuck Taylor shoes sitting by it. That was the outfit that I had planned for the day. I wanted every bit of positive Democratic energy I could find. I wore the aviators, the Chucks, a Pete Buttigieg t-shirt (under a jacket so I didn’t display anything), and Levi’s jeans knowing they had a voting campaign. If I thought I could pull off the dissent collar I would have rocked one for RBG. Like I said, I over plan everything. I thought about listening to a John Lewis speech and how it might make me feel to listen to his words while sitting in the presence of the MLK statue. It was all coming together.
When I pulled up and saw the line was wrapped around the building and stretching down the block, my plans changed. I hopped into line and used the wait to take in everything I could. I constantly looked to the park at the statue, the statue where we gathered this June to march for Black Lives Matter. I thought about how we screamed the names of people we had never met. “Say his name” “GEORGE FLOYD!” “Say her name” “BREONNA TAYLOR!” I was immediately back in that day, the mix of emotion, the pain we felt, the words we heard. It was all coming back. I could see the crowd marching around me. I could hear the community leaders making passionate speeches for change. This place was exactly where I was meant to vote. My vote was not about me. It was about them, the people whose lives shaped my vision of where America must go.
Cars were streaming by, occasionally someone would take the opportunity to show off for the captive audience waiting in line with me. Tires would squeal, engines would rev, and then came the inevitable. Honk, honk- “Trump twenty twenty” someone yelled from a pickup truck. It brought me back into the moment and I was actually surprised it had taken that long. I half expected for that to be a continuous parade, but it wasn’t.
As we moved around the building, I looked to the courthouse where we stopped on that march to hear more speeches. I thought about the people who were boarding their windows as we gathered that day. I thought about the cars that drove through our crowd. I remember the stares of people watching from parking garages as we moved down the street. This replay in my mind was exactly the mindset I needed to have before entering into the building. I reminded myself, my vote would affect more than me.
I finally got checked in after an hour. (Finally? There are people waiting all day!) After receiving my detailed instructions I proceeded to my booth. After taking a deep breath I completed the ballot and placed it in the box. The things I had just spent the day thinking about were still on my mind. They never actually go away, it just changes how much they are the focus of my attention. Knowing I had used that influence to inform my choices gave me a sense of peace. I knew 2020 was going to be another voting experience I would remember for years to come. I walked back out of the building even though I felt like skipping. I know high-fives are not recommended in the middle of a pandemic, but I wanted to high-five and hug everyone I passed on the way to my car. (At supper tonight my wife and I decided there should be cheering after everyone completes there vote.) I know not everyone will have voted the way I did, but something about this year just gave everything a little more weight.
I jumped in the car and took off. As I turned my radio up, the first song that played was I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack. As the tears began to well up, I nearly had to pull over. After thinking all day about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., John Lewis, Ruther Bader Ginsburg, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery; hearing that song after voting was enough to nearly break me.
Changed So Much! 